“The Dreaded Heartthrob-With-Pornstache: History is full of comical facial hair: muttonchops, the soul patch, the Tuff Man. But at least those whiskers possessed a whisper of sex appeal. (Say what you will, but muttonchops were hot, hot hot in the 1800s, and the "friendly muttonchop," which linked the burns with the 'stache, is like a cozy cardigan for the cheeks. Who doesn't get a little tingly over that?)
We cannot say the same about the pornstache, which littered the lips this year of at least four of Hollywood's hottest hunks: Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr., Orlando Bloom and Joshua Carver.
It also appeared on some sunken dreamboats, which only made matters worse for their languishing allure. (Will Ferrell, Seth Green, etc.)
We would never advocate violence, but we can certainly understand if someone perpetuated a drive-by shaving. It's DEFCON 1 for the Mach 3.”
So as you may have guessed the ‘stache’ is officially retired…or at least put in the back of my closet until it is once again safe to bare the badge of manhood!!
Yours Truly,
"The Stache"
4 comments:
ahahhaha. Some of those pics are so ugly! (Seth Green especially!) I loved this post!! Hopefully you can keep this resolution, however, it could be difficult...the temptation must be enormous!
HAHAHAHAHA! Well, I would like so say I will miss it, but I never saw it in person; however, I am sure that you may find it easier to make friends from now on.
But....how is your upper lip supposed to stay warm in the winter now? Its definitely going to need some kind of blanket...maybe not the full fleece one that you had before, but at least a little something....
I've been trying to grow my own upper lip surprise for years but so far all that has grown is one really long blonde hair...I call him "Lucky".
THis WAS awesome!! I always love josh's posts!! BUT truth be told.... I will miss the stache... It always made me laugh!! hahahahah
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